National Lampoon's Kids In Cages

Hey! With Mother’s Day in the rear view, if any of you are looking for a Father’s Day gift ideas for me, I have one.

I’d like Donald Trump, our supposed leader, right here tonight. I want him snatched from his live-tweeting of Fox News in the White House residence, over there on Pennsylvania Avenue with all the other miscreants and I want him brought right here, with a HUUUUUGE ribbon on that muskrat he calls a head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, gravy-gulping, low-life, Putin-licking, burnt steak-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, charity-robbing, bankrupting, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, coon-eyed, stiff-legged, twat-lipped, combed-over sack of monkey shit he is!

Happy Fathers Day! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?

If you’d like to explore donating to causes that are helping migrants and their children, start here.